Tuesday, November 20, 2007

The whole me

I have several blogs and a ton of websites, but today I was thinking—why am I compartmentalizing? I guess I've thought certain parts of me only appeal to certain audiences, and in a way, I've once again catered to this view I have of "others"—what their interests are, what I should offer. In some ways, that's simply good business, and it creates value for people for them to find just what they are looking for. That's fun to do. But I want to discover the whole me—the real me. Have you ever stopped to think about the many views and ideas that we are immersed in each day? Which one is you? Which have you been taught to be? Was it really you?

I feel compelled to be genuine. And to me, compelled isn't "forced"—I suppose I could say "inspired" instead, but that doesn't express the feeling of something coming through me that will be no other way. There are some things that just are. Gravity is one. Gravity is compelling. It's doesn't exactly force a ball to fall to the ground—though I guess you could see it that way—but it also just IS. So, I feel compelled to be genuine.

I've been thinking about Suzi Blu lately, and by now I've watched MANY videos on Art Journals. But hers were compelling. Hers were the most attractive to me, and today I could put my finger on it. She is being genuine. Yes, often in a silly, fun way—but who among us (deep down, if need be) doesn't love fun and silly? Besides teaching about art, she is simply BEING HERSELF. And that is inspiring to me. And that is part of the JOY I see in my 5 year old's eyes. No pretense, to seeking to please—just being. Just BEing. Being oneself. Listening to the inner voice, following the bliss.

I want to find the whole me, and stop breaking myself into so many pieces. For instance, this blog was a place for my art pictures, etc. But I was removing myself from the pictures. And that isn't ME!

No comments: