Friday, February 20, 2009

A Kidney Bean????

I visited a pregnancy website, typed in my vital information, and was promptly told, "Your baby is about the size of a kidney bean."

A Kidney Bean? Oh come on! I don't know about you, but I've certainly been having way more symptoms than a kidney bean warrants. But...what do others say of this time? "I'm sleeping all day" "Exhausted" "Feel so nauseous" it's all normal.

I still don't get it. I've had to retire my skinny jeans...which I'd only FINALLY gotten into a few months ago...already. Due to the size of a kidney bean?

Well, it's better to not focus on kidney beans. I'm not making soup here anyway. It's a baby. An utterly surprising, unexpected, change of plans, baby.

A miraculous baby....

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Fun with Paints

This is one of my latest. Not exactly done, as I could go through an pencil in more detail, now that the oils are dry. This was done with the Shiva Paintstiks I've mentioned before, and some water color pencils, and water-soluble pastels. The background is nice and grainy, as I gessoed some masonite and then scrubbed a papertowel over it to show the nice gesso texture. I love these oils because you can get messy with them. Most of the skin texture was done with my fingers. (Oooh, hey--if you click on the picture, you get a BIG version with texture galore!).

Hmmm...this is a scanned pic and it's not as vibrant as the real deal, but I was going for sombre tones anyway. Even orange can be sombre at times.

I knitted a sock and have a cute pic of my son wearing it, but that will have to wait for when I'm on my laptop. For as amazing as Macs are, you'd think they'd make an SD slot. Go figure.

Well, today I'm feeling well enough to make a post, so that's progress. Let's see if I can even tackle a pile of laundry....

Sunday, February 01, 2009

One Step at a Time...

So...last pregnancy, I was sentenced to bed-rest from 17 weeks on, due to my over-active uterus. (a.k.a. pre-term labor...though it's really more like my uterus likes to exercise like crazy, and that makes the doctors nervous). So then I was on lots of medications to stop the "exercising" turned my skin bright pink...and the mix of them, plus not much exercise, left my liver in bad shape. Plus, apparently that "relaxin" hormone that helps your hips be able to split apart...can also effect your feet. I was in a brace for the last few months as well, because my ankle was freaking out, due to the relaxin. (Not so relaxin' for the ankles). I actually rode the little cart around to do grocery shopping.

I'll cut this short...I could go on... but suffice it to say, it was not a fun pregnancy. In fact, I hear that those really do exist, but they have been a mystery to me.

I'd like a fun pregnancy. I'd like to enjoy this one.

So, here's the plan. Take it one step at a time. Morning sickness is already here...but, I get to rest a lot. I love naps. I've been go...go...go for so long, rest can be good.

Everything has slowed down. I guess that's because I get up for the day, and my body says, "Oh, no you don't". Where I used to have task lists plumb full of things to do, now, if I hit 2 or 3...that's success. If I hit 1, it's success!

Being pregnant at nearly 36, with 5 other I still hear my kids talk about it and I think they are talking about someone else.

My biggest joy this week was realizing...I won't have another 2 or 3 year old to handle as well. Only one baby in diapers. 5 other kids, yes, but 5 other kids that can get in and out of cars, fasten seatbelts, dress themselves, and almost feed themselves (Jasen & I need to bring him up to speed a bit, but he's excited to be a big brother, so here we go). Maybe, it won't be quite so exhausting.

Finding out you are unexpectedly pregnant, just as the kids were almost all in school takes a bit of ...flexibility. And it's a different flexibility than...say... you head out to your favorite restaurant for your favorite dish, only to find they are out it...and you need to choose something else.

18 more years of mothering. Well, 19 really. I'll be in my late 50's!

It's really about the exhaustion. I'm so tired already. Wow. I feel like this is an unexpected road, and the one I was heading for was a nice gentle slope, kids in school, being able to work full time, finances beginning to improve in a big way...but instead, I've got a big hill to climb.

But, I know, it will be a wonderful hill. Babies are blessings, expected or no. I know a lot more than I did 5 years ago. Now I have the opportunity to everyday, every hour, put the power of thought into action.

It's overwhelming. It's scary. But, it's also an exhilarating adventure. There we go. That fits. An adventure. A surprise. Excitement. Unexpected twists and turns.

Let the adventure begin!