One Step at a Time...

So...last pregnancy, I was sentenced to bed-rest from 17 weeks on, due to my over-active uterus. (a.k.a. pre-term labor...though it's really more like my uterus likes to exercise like crazy, and that makes the doctors nervous). So then I was on lots of medications to stop the "exercising"...one turned my skin bright pink...and the mix of them, plus not much exercise, left my liver in bad shape. Plus, apparently that "relaxin" hormone that helps your hips be able to split apart...can also effect your feet. I was in a brace for the last few months as well, because my ankle was freaking out, due to the relaxin. (Not so relaxin' for the ankles). I actually rode the little cart around to do grocery shopping.

I'll cut this short...I could go on... but suffice it to say, it was not a fun pregnancy. In fact, I hear that those really do exist, but they have been a mystery to me.

I'd like a fun pregnancy. I'd like to enjoy this one.

So, here's the plan. Take it one step at a time. Morning sickness is already here...but, I get to rest a lot. I love naps. I've been go...go...go for so long, rest can be good.

Everything has slowed down. I guess that's because I get up for the day, and my body says, "Oh, no you don't". Where I used to have task lists plumb full of things to do, now, if I hit 2 or 3...that's success. If I hit 1, it's success!

Being pregnant at nearly 36, with 5 other kids....wow. I still hear my kids talk about it and I think they are talking about someone else.

My biggest joy this week was realizing...I won't have another 2 or 3 year old to handle as well. Only one baby in diapers. 5 other kids, yes, but 5 other kids that can get in and out of cars, fasten seatbelts, dress themselves, and almost feed themselves (Jasen & I need to bring him up to speed a bit, but he's excited to be a big brother, so here we go). Maybe, it won't be quite so exhausting.

Finding out you are unexpectedly pregnant, just as the kids were almost all in school takes a bit of ...flexibility. And it's a different flexibility than...say... you head out to your favorite restaurant for your favorite dish, only to find they are out it...and you need to choose something else.

18 more years of mothering. Well, 19 really. I'll be in my late 50's!

It's really about the exhaustion. I'm so tired already. Wow. I feel like this is an unexpected road, and the one I was heading for was a nice gentle slope, kids in school, being able to work full time, finances beginning to improve in a big way...but instead, I've got a big hill to climb.

But, I know, it will be a wonderful hill. Babies are blessings, expected or no. I know a lot more than I did 5 years ago. Now I have the opportunity to everyday, every hour, put the power of thought into action.

It's overwhelming. It's scary. But, it's also an exhilarating adventure. There we go. That fits. An adventure. A surprise. Excitement. Unexpected twists and turns.

Let the adventure begin!