Sunday, November 18, 2007

The Art Journal Begins...

Wait, you thought this was the art journal. No, I've been made aware of a better kind. Following Suzi Blu's advice, I'm creating a place just for me. The first assignment was to find a picture of our 5 year old self. Being the energy work chick that I am, I became quite aware of the inner journey I was taking as I looked through photos. So this is it. Get ready for many pictures.

This was Dad--1971--He's 18. But very crafty--and those long fingers--luckily I got his hands--they've been great for piano! =)

And here is Mom. She's about 27? here--Doesn't she look young (and beautiful always!)

And what a sweet little boy--my brother Zeke--to actually be INTERESTED in the clothes he got--my kids cannot relate. =) So, here's me--on the right with my cousins and brother:

And this one is here really for no other reason but that the look on my face was too hilarious not to share. This is me with Zeke and my Dad's brother, Gary:

And here, well, I sympathized for my brother--must have gotten my old coat. But he doesn't care--kids are so great.

This is me and Zeke--I'm probably 4-ish...

This picture I love--and I am 5, so it counts. This is my dad's mom--Grammy--she died a few years ago--she was awesome! But isn't that grin amazing--pure joy over a doll (did part of me know I'd make them as a career someday?)

And this picture I love--summers in Sun Valley Idaho--and my proof that I was a toe-headed blonde and once had straight hair. Thank heaven's they invented the chi iron to straighten my curls when I tire of them!

Me and Zeke--just being happy kiddos. Must have been Easter or something...

All of these early pictures show a lot of JOY in my face. Was Suzi being psychic when she chose the age five? The joy was alive and strong then.

Now for the catharsis--I noticed a striking change in my face after this time. The smiles are there, but not that unbounded joy anymore.

As far as I can tell, two events happened, that impacted the joy factor. First my brother--my buddy--fell off his crib and onto a cement nail on the floor (unfinished basement). He survived just fine, but that tragedy really affected me. It nearly killed him. Here he is in the hospital:

And then, my folks split up--not once, but twice (divorce, remarry, divorce).

I did a close up of this one--something is definitely missing...

See the difference compared to this earlier picture below?

So, thanks to Suzi, I'm learning to make art--not to sell--but for the pure joy of creating. For the joy that little face above knew about--knew as everyday life--when life was to explore and create--and we all were artists. That was nearly 30 years ago--man oh man--but I know this same joy is inside me--it comes back to visit from time to time, but my aim is to capture it again, as a permanent part of the smile on my face. Because when I create what I love to create--the joy comes back and seems to melt away the pain I learned to carry along the way--and it can work for all of us. Thanks, Suzi. Do you know how profound you are?

1 comment:

Randy and Jenna said...

i love the pics, awesome. you are inspiring me. you are an awesome sister. thanks. keep creating.