Why we want what we Want and Protection Bubbles

Two things on my mind as I sit here in the lobby of Homewood Suites--just a mile from Disneyland. Being in close quarters with the fam the past few days, relationships are on my mind. What do we want from relationships? Whenever I find as aspect of my life being not as perfect as I'd prefer, I take it as a signal to examine it. Why am I wanting what I'm wanting? What am I expecting from it? How will my life--no, my FEELINGS--be different once I have it?

Why do I want such a perfect marital relationship? What am I expecting to feel from it? In what ways can I feel that way now?

Much of what I want is acceptance...and adoration. To be honest, I need to list adoration. I like attention, I like people to like me. Why? Am I still needing validation? Or do we just all love to be liked--because caring about others is our nature?

I find myself being much more assertive these days--and I think at times the family isn't happy with the rules changing. Yet, I'm learning we truly must care for our own needs first.

Protection bubbles. What if people really did have force fields? What if those who cared for themselves, and took care of themselves had strong force fields? They might be able to help others who didn't, without it weakening their field. What if the field was created by self love and self care--by not leaving oneself needy, and depending on others to meet their needs for them?

I wonder if people who get hurt often just have neglected their force fields. And if those they hurt have done the same? Have you ever noticed when you are feeling great about yourself, even intended slights can bounce right off of you--no damage done--and an awareness that the other person must be having a hard time?

I want a strong force field. I want to be filled and available to support others--but do well at meeting my own needs through my connection to God and spiritual help.

What do we really believe about ourselves?

So much for Disneyland news---I guess I've waxed profound. Yet, this little time for myself tonight, IS how I take care of me. It's nice to check in with myself and see how I'm doing.