What to say?

Well, it was a very strange week. Seeing my Dad at the viewing...good for closure I guess, but not a highlight. Jasen, my 5 year old was curious and stayed for a few minutes...then BOLTED out of there. I could relate. Dead bodies.

It was awesome to see so much family I don't see much. It was wonderful to see my handsome brothers and cute little sister, and her little boy Talon.

But all in all, it was rather weird and surreal. And at the same time, it's nice to have it all over with. I guess part of me knew the day would come that I'd get that phone call, saying Dad had died. And now it's over. I can't help but feel some relief. Mostly because I know he was struggling and not at peace. And now he is.

The kids handled it all well. They hadn't seen Dad for a while and didn't see him often, so I think in a way that made it easier on them. But Josh summed it up well (my 10 year old).

"How do you feel about Grandpa Dave dying?"

"Bad!"

They all loved their Grandpa.

Just had another surreal moment where it seems so strange to be writing this. That someone's life has ended.

We went out to eat tonight--us siblings--to PF Chang's. I love my family. I actually got to have 2 families, with the divorces and remarriages. The more the merrier.

I hope my children will love each other and enjoy each other like I do my family.

More changes on the horizon. I'll keep you posted.

Bye, Dad.

Today I found out that my dad died. He was only 56.



This was in '82 when he took us to Disneyland. What a cutie!



This is my dad, myself, with a classic Nike tee-shirt (Dad owned a shoe store) my sister Lani, and then my brother Zeke. We were at my grandmother's house--Dad's mom. She just died a few years ago. I like to think they are having some good chats now. =)


This is little me, and my dad. He was probably only 27 or 28 at the time. He always loved the outdoors.



And this is one of my favorite pictures of him. He always said his nose was so pointy he could use it as a pencil. But it was actually quite a handsome nose. =) We went cross country skiing in Sun Valley, and built a snow wall. My uncle Tom took this shot through a hole in the snow wall. Back before Photoshop. =)

I love you Dad. Thanks for sharing this time here with me. You are missed.

12 Weeks 3 days

Week Twelve: Fingernails and toenails appear

You are 12 weeks pregnant. (fetal age 10 weeks) The fetus is now about 2.5 inches (6cm) length and weighs about 0.7 ounce (20 g). The feet are almost half an inch (1cm) long. The fetus starts moving spontaneously. The face is beginning to look like a baby's face. The pancreas is functioning and producing insulin. Fingernails and toenails appear. The baby can suck his thumb, and get hiccups. From this week you may well be able to hear the baby's heart beat through a doppler monitor on your tummy. You will notice that the rate is up to 160 a minute, double that of a normal adult. Your baby now has a chin and a nose and a facial profile. Vocal chords are complete, and the baby can and does sometimes cry silently. The brain is fully formed, and the baby can also feel pain. The fetus may even suck his thumb. The eyelids now cover the eyes, and will remain shut until the seventh month to protect the delicate optical nerve fibers. The hair is on the head and the fingers and toes have developed soft nails. The kidneys are developed and begin to secrete urine. Your baby weighs between 0.5 and 0.7 ounce (14 to 20g), and crown-to-rump length is almost 2.5 inches (63mm). Your baby's size has almost doubled in the past 3 weeks. Wow...that's a lot of development in a tiny 2 1/2 inch baby. Amazing. Can you imagine 1/2 inch feet?

Checking in....

I think I'm finally getting close to being done with morning sickness...at least a little bit. I'm at the weird state where I don't really look pregnant...just more like...chunky. I'll prefer to just move on up to obviously pregnant. =)

I feel a lot more at peace with having another child. I was overwhelmed with 5, but you know what? They all seem to really like me, so I must be doing something right. And I love them too, so it works.

I feel so much older for this pregnancy. My first was when I was 20. Wow. I don't feel "too old" or more aches and pains stuff...more that it's much more profound now.

Hmmm...guess I don't have a lot to say tonight...but I've been a stranger to blogland for too long. I'm still kickin' around.